The Ultimate Arranged Marriage

Just like you (I am sure of it), I have great musings in the shower. I was washing my hair thinking how having a baby is the ultimate arranged marriage… You don’t meet a baby, begin dating, see if you have things in common or like the same food or sports team, nope– A spirit is infused in you during a pregnancy that hijacks your body. I feel that I have known my son’s spirit for a long time and got to know him to an extent when he was in my body growing a brain and threading miraculously an entire prolific matrix of nerves. But it really isn’t until they are born into this world from our womb that we meet this little person and in the coming weeks we get to see glimpses of their personality and the fire within them.

Our children are an ultimate arranged marriage… This amazing little person that I humbly was a vessel for is now in my life, forever! I began loving him the moment I knew there were multiplying cells in my uterus.. Call it love at first Ooh’cyte, but it really grows when they are here…. in your arms, staring up at your as they suckle…  Having the opportunity to serve another being at such a raw and vulnerable stage of life is such a privilege.  So, does the love spring because of the mass flooding of oxytocin and other bonding hormones, nah, is it the fact that my partner and I created another being out of our own love, yes.. or is it possibly.. that we truly can unabashedly love another being with our whole being, in an instant? Yes…

Having babies and the love that springs is proof of it…

Sure they are flesh creations of our DNA but there is so much more to it. So often I hear that a family has multiple children with the same parents, same raising style, nutrition, love, and yet they are wildly different.. We are born who we are.. Sure environmental factors play a part.. but in the simplest of summaries– Our spirit is our spirit is our spirit..   As a parent you love this person before you technically meet them… They are married to us and we to them, for life… I believe there is more consciousness to it than causal roulette but the truth is.. We can love another being totally.. SO why do we retain this profound reservoir of love for just our own?

In Sufism is it said that ‘The Beloved is always standing in front of you”

The faces change, the politics, the bowel movements, the sense of humor, the upbringing… we are all the same and the spark of life within us is all the same current, from the same source.

So today my prayer is that as my heart learns a new depth of loving, that I may see and spread that love not just to my child but to the beloved always in front of me… in whomever is there…


  • MarianHJones says:

    All I can say is that marriage is the most unforgettable moment in life that will change your whole life too. It maybe arrange or not as long as the both of you are agreed to take vow to be with for the rest of your lives, give life toy our own families. It is the best thing to happen in life. Stay in-love always have a great day ahead!

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